Feel like "be a good Christian" is code for "pretend you don't have ADHD"? Join the Club.

Here's what actually got me through

My son was 4 months old when my ex served me divorce papers.

After that, I was learning how to be a mom for the first time, fighting multiple legal battles, and building a business from nothing so I could support us.

The loneliness and the chaos in my brain got so intense, I didn't know if I would survive. Truly.

When I look back, it comes down to 3 things. (Spoiler: none of them was a better morning routine.)

1. Hearing God.

Learning to tell God's leading apart from all the noise is how I made it through before, during, and after the split. My journal pages from that season are full of places He was leading me toward a time I had no way of knowing was coming.

I didn't do it perfectly. But being able to hear Him and lean on Him is a huge part of why I'm still here.

2. Community, in person and online.

For a solid year, I fell asleep on the couch while bible study happened around me. 😅

Those women were my people. They kept watch while my body finally felt safe enough to sleep. I definitely didn't finish the homework. They were still my people.

Then there was the business trip in California. I was panicking, with a mountain of work and absolutely no idea how to get it done. So I found a coffee shop and joined my first virtual coworking session, where people log on and just ... work. Together.

That changed everything. There were nights I logged on in the middle of the night just to sit and work silently with a couple other people, and that little bit of human connection made such a difference.

3. Grace for myself, and working with what I had.

I had to learn to work with my brain instead of against it, and with my actual circumstances instead of the ones I wished I had. And I had to learn to have grace for myself while I did it.

I'd love to tell you that's where the happily ever after kicks in.

God did bring me Cam. Who has cancer. And an uncertain future.

If someone had told me that in the early days of my divorce, I would not have been jazzed. I just got out of a terrible marriage, and now I'm walking into A Walk to Remember? What is happening?!

Our life together has included endless medical bills, tons of legal bills, and missing more than half our time together as a family. Cam is in monitoring for two cancers, and his brain cancer could come back. I'm in the middle of potentially getting my own health diagnosis. It's very likely I'll be a widow someday.

It's still hard. And there's so much purpose in it.

If the prosperity gospel were true, God abandoned me. And yet, when I look at my life, I wouldn't change a thing. God's version of good is so much better than anything I could come up with.

Here's what I still couldn't find anywhere: one place that gets both halves of me.

Christian spaces love Jesus but quietly need you to sit still. ADHD spaces get your brain and leave Jesus out of it entirely. So you pick one, and whichever half didn't get picked keeps showing up alone.

So I built the place I needed. The Jesus and ADHD Club puts all 3 in one spot:

• Hearing God - learning to tell His leading apart from all the noise in your life, so you can actually follow where He's taking you
• Community - live coworking and a private community of women who get your brain and your faith, still right here when you come back after a hard month
• Grace and working with what you've got - learning how your brain actually works, without anyone treating it like a problem to fix
• 

You don't have to be doing well to walk in. You just have to be tired of doing this alone.

Put me on the list